August is 5 months old!

.....well, sort of.  Calendar speaking, he is 5 months on Wednesday, the 3rd.  Weeks speaking, he is over 5 months old.  So who knows really.  But for my schedule's sake in writing this post, he is 5 months old! :)

I can't believe how much he as changed over the last several weeks.  Here's what's going on with him lately.

• August has started sleeping on his stomach.  I was definitely not ok with this at first.  It scared me to death, and I think it scared August too.  He has been rolling constantly (back to front and front to back).  He will not stay on his back if you lay him down that way.  For about a week or two straight, each night he would wake us up screaming, and he would be on his stomach.  We would flip him to his back, and he would scream even more.  Finally, I just stood in his room where he couldn't see me, and I watched him to see how he did on his belly.  I was afraid he would smother himself in the mattress.  He would eventually just go to sleep, with his face to the side.  So he has been sleeping that way ever since.  I'm a belly sleeper too, so I guess that's where he gets it. :)

The first time he did it, he started sleeping half on his side and half on his belly....

....and woke up on his belly!

• August is now eating rice cereal in the evening.  We started this a couple days ago, and he LOVES it. That boy can eat.  I hadn't planned on doing anything solid until 6 months, but August starting waking up more often, and he also started grabbing our food off of our plates and forks.  So I decided to go ahead and try it.  I mix Earth's Best Organic Rice cereal (I'm usually not a fancy organic kind of person because I would rather save the money, but apparently when it comes to my child, I am.) with a little bit of breastmilk.  The recipe makes about 1/4 cup, but it says most babies only eat about 1/2 a tablespoon the first time.  August ate the whole 1/4 cup....and wanted more.  He cried when it was gone.  Haha.  This boy can eat!

• August has gotten SUPER efficient at nursing.  The norm for him was anywhere from 25-45 minutes of nursing every 2 hours....which means I was only getting 1 hour and 15 minutes in between feedings.  So nursing was a full time job.  In the last few weeks, he has gotten a lot faster.  Now he is done in 10 minutes.  I have all this new found time!  So now when I have to nurse him while we're out, it's not that big of a deal.  He still nurses about every 2 hours....sometimes 2 and 1/2.  I'm ok with it though.  As long as he will let me sleep at night. :)
• August is very active.  He is not wanting to nap, he just wants to play.  All. day. long.  His naps have been getting shorter and shorter.  He used to nap about 2 1/2-3 hours at a time.  Now he naps about 1 and 1/2 hours.....at the most.....at a time.  Where did my good napping boy go?  He is just so interested in everything.  I think he's afraid he's going to miss something.  
•   It sounds like he says "mama."  Now, I won't tell you that he says it and knows what he's saying.  But he says it at least once or twice a day, and I'm not the only one who has heard it.  He has also repeated once too.  When I said "mama," he said it right back.  I'm still not getting excited though, because for some reason I don't feel like it counts. 
• He still isn't sitting up on his own yet.  Most days I wish he could, and I feel like a lot of babies can by this age.  But I'm TRYING not to compare him.  I know that's a downfall of parenting, comparing your child.  So I'm really trying not to.  I know these days are short when he needs me so much, so I'm trying not to wish them away.  He will sit on his own in time. :)
• August is generally a very happy baby.  He cries when he's sleepy and hungry, and that's usually it.  I love his smiles.  They melt my heart.

He loves to be propped up.  He thinks he's big stuff. :)

LOVES to read books outside

Flipping over...

Playtime

He likes to play with the cup at bath time

Watching mommy and daddy wash cars....the hand up by the face means he's sleepy.

Early morning walk in the jogging stroller!

He had actually just turned 4 months in this picture.  This was made in Gatlinburg on Labor Day Weekend.

4 months....Labor Day Weekend

My mom had this little fleece thingy that wraps around the baby and snaps him to the shopping cart.  August LOVED it.  He  sometimes gets fussy in his car seat in stores, and he doesn't always like the Moby wrap, he's pretty independent.  So this he really liked.

His feet are his new favorite toy.  He finds them fascinating!

Thanks for reading!  Hope you had a great weekend! :)

Summer "Dining Room" Decor

Now that summer is ending, I am starting to think about fall decor.  I love decorating my home.  My style is very simple and easy.  It won't win any awards, but I like it. Today I thought I would share with you my summer decor for my dining room since I'm about to switch it up.  I call it a dining room, but it's really just where the table is in the kitchen.  It's all one room. :)  I took these pictures a few weeks ago and forgot to post them, so here they are.

This is a view of my kitchen table as you walk in from the living room.

The tablecloth is actually a curtain from World Market.  The curtains used to be in what is now August's nursery.  The burlap is a remnant that was on clearance at Hobby Lobby.  The candlesticks were bought in college from TJ Maxx.  They were silver, and I spray painted them white.  The flowers are from my husband just because. :)  

Aren't they beautiful?  He has good taste!  I got the vase at Target about a year ago.

I'm sorry about the lighting.  The sun was setting.  

I came up with this little set up when August was about 4 weeks old.  I was getting stir crazy being home all the time, and I was ready to get back into decorating.  I usually have the round wooden candle lantern in the center of the kitchen table, but I wanted the flowers as our dinner centerpiece that night.  Adam keeps his guitar in the kitchen because he likes to play it after supper.  It used to bother me that he kept it in the kitchen because it wasn't really the look I was going for.  However, I am learning to create my home for my family, not for HGTV.  I am thankful to have a husband who likes to play music for his family. :)

You might remember this mirror from my post found HERE.  I finally hung it.  It was from a local shop in town. The green cups are  Fiesta Ware in the color Lemongrass.  The white mugs go with a Corelle set.  Both sets were wedding gifts.

This is a Bible that came from Adam's grandfather.  I can't remember the date of its publishing, but its a really old Bible.  That binding isn't even attached.  The blue books are also from his grandfather.  I got the bottle and faux plant from TJ Maxx.

This Bible also came from Adam's grandfather.  The plate was bought at a local shop in town, and I personalized it with our initials in the center.  You might remember that project, found HERE.  The lamp was from my parents' house.  It was the hallway lamp outside my bedroom.  It reminds me of those days.  The plant is from TJ Maxx.  

This is the set up on the other side of the kitchen table.  You might remember that marble top table from HERE.  I gave it a makeover after inheriting it from Adam's grandfather.  The globe is from a local shop.  The chalkboard was a picture frame, and I just painted the glass with chalkboard paint.  The flowers are faux flowers that I used in my wedding pictures before the ceremony.  I used real flowers in the wedding, but my mom didn't want them to be wilted by the time the ceremony was ready to begin, so we used these.  She is one smart lady.  The picture frames were wedding gifts.  There is a telescope to the left of the table that was a gift from my parents when I was younger.  Adam and I have enjoyed using it on the back porch on occassion.

These are the pictures on the table.  Excuse the glare.  The first picture is of Adam and his brother, mom, and dad.  We miss his mom so much.  I think about her everyday.  I wrote about her HERE.  The other is a picture of Adam and me on our honeymoon.  We were at dinner on the cruise.  

That's it!  Maybe I'll post pictures of the rest of the kitchen soon.  I enjoy homemaking.  Some aspects of it are hard, but decorating is the fun part.  Have a great day, everyone!

Tips for Sleeping Through the Night

A lot of friends have asked me how we got August to sleep through the night.  Honestly, I didn't follow any method or perform any witchcraft, but there are a few things that we did that I think may have contributed to him sleeping through the night.  August started sleeping through the night at 7 weeks old.  Now, the baby definition of sleeping through the night is 5 hours of sleep straight.  August started this at 7 weeks, and then quickly jumped to 6-8 hours of sleep.  After a few weeks of sleeping 6-8 hour stretches, he started sleeping 8-10 hour stretches, and now he often sleeps 10-12 hour stretches at 4 months old.  I'm not a doctor, and I can't make any guarantees that these tips will work for your baby, but they are worth a shot!

Photo by Samantha Willis

Weeks 0-3 of August's life

During this time, August slept in a co-sleeper in our room.  A co-sleeper is basically a bassinet.  I was supposed to wake August up every 3 hours during the night to feed him per doctor's suggestion.  I did that for about 1 and 1/2 weeks or so, but then I just let him wake up when he was hungry.

• This is probably a given, but I would always feed him before I laid him down for the night.
• When August would wake up during the night to eat, we would change his diaper before I fed him.  This way, when he fell asleep nursing, we didn't wake him back up with a diaper change.
• When we would get up with August, we would only turn on lamps, no overhead lights.  This way he understood that when the room was dim or dark, that meant it was time to sleep.
• Keep it quiet.  My husband and I would talk in soft voices at night, and we would not give August a ton of interaction.  We let him know that this was the time for sleep.
• We used a "pippy" (passy).  Yes, this is a lifesaver.  Sometimes when newborns want to sleep, they also want to suck.  We had originally decided we were gonna be super parents and not use a pippy.  But when we had him home the first night, and he had been screaming for 5 hours straight, we gave it a whirl, and it worked like gold.  
• For naps during the day, we would lay August down in either the co-sleeper or the crib.  We did not schedule his naps in the early weeks.  I would watch for his personal sleep cues: eye rubbing, hands up by the face, crying when not hungry, etc.  This way, he associated sleep with the co-sleeper/crib, so when we would lay him down there at night, he would know what to do.  (Sleep!)  I made sure to let him nap in his crib too, not just the co-sleeper, so that way it would be an easier transition to the crib.  He would already be familiar with it. He also took short cat naps in his swing and in our arms as well.
• When August was napping, we didn't tip-toe around the house or lower our voices at all.  We wanted August to be able to sleep while we were still awake, and we didn't want household noises to wake him.  We wanted him to be used to noise.  We did this even in the hospital and early days at home, so when we had guests, we encouraged them to use their normal voice level.
• We would swaddle him for night time sleep.  Newborns don't have much control of their limbs in the early weeks.  They often startle themselves on accident just by moving.  Swaddling him made him feel secure (think of the womb, very secure), and we only swaddled him when it was time for him to go to sleep.  This was another cue that let him know it's time to sleep.  

Week 3-Week 7

We moved August to his crib at 3 weeks old.  I realize this is really young for a lot of people.  However, this worked out best for our family.  August and I had a lot of difficulty with breastfeeding in the early weeks.  For the first 2 weeks Adam would have to help me get August to latch.  It would take a long time to get him to latch.  He tried to find the breast with his hands, but his hands would get in the way, and he would end up sucking on them.  Adam would have to hold his hands, and I would have to hold his head.  It was a team effort.  Breastfeeding was super painful, and it involved a lot of tears, prayers of pleading, prayers of asking for forgiveness, etc.  At about 3 weeks old, breastfeeding was still a struggle, but I was starting to be able to do it on my own.  Because breastfeeding had us awake for anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half at a time at least twice a night, Adam was missing out on a lot of sleep.  He was (and still is) working 10 hour days, so he needed every bit of sleep he could get.  So I decided to let August make the transition to the crib.  That's when he started sleeping 3 1/2 to 4 hour stretches.  Instead of nursing August in our bedroom, I nursed him in the rocking chair in his room or in the living room.  I continued to follow the tips I listed for weeks 0-3.

Week 7- Present (4 months old)

This is when August started sleeping about 5-6 hours straight.  The first night he did it, we were camping (in my parents' camper), and he was sleeping in a laundry basket.  I dunno, I guess he really liked that; either that or the day's activities had him super exhausted.  Up until this point, I did not schedule naps for August.  I just let him nap as he needed.  Newborn babies are good about sleeping when they are tired.  When he started sleeping for longer stretches at night, I scheduled his naps during the day to help regulate his sleep clock.  I didn't google "sleep training" or read up on any articles, but this is how I did it.  

• At 0-3 months old, August would usually eat 2 times during the night.  He gradually dropped feedings until he reached 0 feedings around 7 or 8 weeks old.  
• Before 7 weeks old, August would eat about every 3 hours.  So in 24 hours, he would eat about 8 times.  However, when he started sleeping through the night, I had to increase how often I fed him during the day to make up for his lack of feeding at night.  This helped encourage him to sleep at night because I would get all of his feedings in before bedtime.  So at this point, I started feeding him every 2 hours during the day (every hour and a half or so during growth spurts).  I did get this information from BabyWise, and it makes total sense.  So now he gets about 7 feedings during the day, and none at night.  If this sounds like I'm super rigid and calculated with our schedule, I'm not.  It comes as second nature.  I had to think about it pretty hard to be able to type this out.  So if you're thinking this sounds too "scheduley," it's really not.  Our days are just pretty consistent.  Sometimes he only gets 6 feedings, or sometimes he'll get 8 feedings.  He is human just like we are, so sometimes he needs more sleep instead of food or vice versa depending on the day.      
• Bedtime and Wake Time.  Weeks 7-10 or so, August would go to bed when we went to bed (around 11 or so), and then he would get up around 5:30 or 6 a.m.  As he got older, around 3-4 months, he would go to bed at about 8:30 p.m. and wake up anywhere from 6:30 a.m. to 8:00 a.m.  He typically wakes up a little bit before 7:00 a.m.
• Naps.  I lay August down about the same time every day.  Not necessarily the same time each day according to the clock, but the same time according to his schedule (number of feedings).  I believe regulating his feedings with his naps is what lets him know when to sleep.  Our day goes something like this (on an ideal day....sometimes we get a little off, but it all works out).
• 7:00 a.m. Feeding #1
• 9:00 a.m. Feeding #2
• Morning Nap
• 12:30 p.m. Feeding #3
• 2:30 p.m. Feeding #4
• Afternoon Nap
• 5:30 p.m. Feeding #5
• 7:00 p.m. Feeding #6
• 8:15 p.m. Feeding #7
• Bed Time
• I usually plan trips to the grocery store, errands, etc after his morning nap.  I'll get him up, feed him, and out the door we go.  If we aren't back in time for his next feeding, I just feed him while we're out. That way he will still get his afternoon nap when we get home.  
• August naps in his crib.  We don't use the co-sleeper anymore since he sleeps in his own room now.  He doesn't really take cat naps anymore.  
• August started getting out of his SwaddleMe when he was about 3 months old, so we transitioned to a sleep sack.  When the sleep sack goes on, he knows it's time to sleep.  We put him in the sleep sack for naps too.
• We let him cry.  I wouldn't say we follow the "cry it out method," because we aren't following any method.  We do let him cry, because he is a baby, and babies cry.  As long as I know that he has been fed and changed and that it is time for him to sleep, I'm ok with him crying.  I usually let him cry a few minutes, then I go back in and stick his pippy back in.  Then if he is still crying 5-10 minutes later, I'll go back in and put the pippy back in again.  This is usually all it takes.  There have been rare nights where he will cry longer, but I don't take him out of his crib to comfort him.  I just rub his forehead, tell him it's ok, and stick the pippy back in.  He has never cried for more than 20-30 minutes.  Wait I take that back, he cried once for 40 minutes, but that was a really off day for him.  

These are just the things that have worked for us.  I know every baby is different, and many parents are different.  I don't think there is one right way to do things.  This is just the way we do it, and it has worked wonderfully.  If you have any questions, leave me a comment, and I will be happy to answer you.  Hope this helps!

You're So Vain...

So this post is a little embarrassing for me to write, but I need some accountability here.  In the past several months, I have been taking on a "less is more" philosophy.  We had a yard sale, and I made some good progress cleaning out things that we don't use.  I begged Adam to get rid of things/clothes he doesn't need anymore, but I still have some things of my own that could free up some major space in our little house.  

Yes, I have been hiding a dark secret under our bathroom counter.  Apparently I have been hoarding........ 

beauty products.

In all honesty, I knew I had a good amount of products down there, but I didn't realize how much was down there.  I mean really, who needs 4 cans of mousse and 3 cans of hairspray?

Hair stuff

Body stuff

Smell goods

Basket is random makeup I don't use very often, and makeup bag holds makeup I wear every day.  Oh look, is that another can of hairspray?  Make that 4 hairsprays total.

And no, the random makeup was not already organized in this little basket.  It was shoved in plastic drawers and other random places.  

So given that I own half of the contents of Walgreen's, I have put myself on a makeup strike.  I have actually been on it the past month or more.  I am not buying any makeup unless I have completely run out of something (for example, mascara.  I use up my mascara, and I don't have any old ones I've held onto because they start growing bacteria after 3 months.  Yuck!  That should be the only thing I would need though).  I am also ashamed to say that it has probably helped us out a ton financially.  I don't know what it is, but I just have trouble going into Walgreen's or somewhere like that without feeling like I need to buy something that smells good or is supposed to make me look pretty.  I think that is the world getting into my head. The world gives us girls the message that we are never pretty enough....or we would be pretty enough if we just had this one product.  It's crazy.  So, enough!  

I am calling this "Project Use It Up!"  Catchy, I know.  :)  I am going to use up all of my products.  Yep, all of them!  

Well, except for these.

Headed to the trash!

These guys are either super old, all used up, or a prime example of why you don't buy a supposed to be expensive foundation off of ebay. (Josie Maran!)  

So anyway, "Project Use it Up!"  I am doing this with not only beauty products, but shampoo, conditioner, chapstick, etc.  All of that stuff that we (or I anyway) never actually use up before buying the next thing.  So far, this has actually been a very freeing experience.  I like not having to feel like I need to buy something.  I think worldly stuff just gets in the way.  I believe the more stuff we have, the more our stuff owns us.  Think about it, we get bigger houses because we run out of room.  But how much stuff are we holding onto that we really don't need or use anyway?  I don't want to be owned by my stuff.  I want to have room to breathe, room to serve others, room to fill my heart with Christ.  This is just one of the little steps I am doing to clear my head and my heart so that God can have all of me.  If you would like to join me on "Project Use It Up," just leave me a comment below and let me know!  It feels much more official and accountable if you tell others you are doing it.  Have a great day!

Mommy's Day Out

Yesterday I had a much needed vacation.  You know you're a mom when you consider a trip to the gynecologist  by yourself a vacation.  It was bliss.  This was the first time I have been away from August by myself for more than a quick trip out.  I have been on about 3 dates with Adam and a trip to the grocery store.  That's about it.  So I took full advantage.

My husband has Fridays off, so he kept August.  I went to my 9:30 appt with the lady doctor, and then I was a free woman!  I called Adam to check in, and he reassured me that everything was fine and that I should get out and enjoy the morning.  I didn't argue. :) There was some milk stashed in the freezer that I had pumped, so they were set.  I had $11 in my wallet that was my spending money I had been saving for a rainy day, so I picked up a caramel frappuccino, and I was ready to go!  That brought me down to $5 and some change.  Sad, but worth it!

I stopped in at my favorite store.  It was so nice to walk around with no agenda, just browsing.  I saw several things that caught my eye.  I reminded myself before I went in that I have $5 ish, and that's it.  No more!  It was kind of freeing actually not feel like I needed to buy everything I saw.  Here are a few things I liked though. :)

I really like this pillow.  I love stripes and the nautical look.  This pillow was HUGE, and it was only $9.99.  I definitely would have gotten it if I could have!

This is my favorite aisle.  No doubt.  Adam can attest to that.  I love pillows for changing out decor.  It's a lot easier than changing a paint color or something like that.  I like to choose neutral furniture, neutral paint, and neutral bedding, and then I can switch out the pillows to change the look or colors of the room.  Saves lots of money too!  

I looove faux plants.  They actually make ones that look real now.  I have  them in almost every room of the house.  I can't keep live plants.  They don't survive.  So fake plants= money saved! :)

I love this!  I saw it sitting on a shelf with a twin.

Our kitchen opens up into the living room, so it would be really cool to have these up in the corners of the  opening.  It would give some character I think.  They were $25 a piece. 

This pot was pretty cute.  It was only 7.99 I think.  It would be neat for putting  a (real) house plant in, or  putting your kitchen utensils in.  

I didn't check to see the price on this, but this would make a really cute toy chest for August's nursery.  It doesn't have  hinges, so no smashed fingers, and the top is really light so he could open and close it easily.  Plus the style matches his vintage beach themed room.

While I was there, I decided to try on some clothes.  Do you know that I have never tried on clothes just for fun?  Why not!

I really like this skirt.  So feminine.  It was $15.

I also found a bag of like 20 spools of ribbon for only $5!  It was about 3/8" wide, which was the perfect size for a craft project  I have been wanting to do, but I wanted to check out some other stores before I committed my $5. :)  So I headed over to Michael's.  I LOVE crafts.

After making my rounds through the store, I found the dollar bin.  They had a ton of cute things in the dollar bin.  I ended up getting a pack of 8 Paula Deen greeting cards and really cute bag of confetti.  I like to keep blank greeting cards on hand (especially when they are so cheap) because you can use them for thank you cards or birthday cards.  It's a definite money saver since you can spend $3 plus stopping at Walgreen's for one birthday card.  I got the confetti for a sensory bag I plan on making for August.  I think it will be something quiet to hopefully keep his attention during church.  I'll do a post on that after I make it.

With $2 and some tax down, I had $3.75 left.  I headed over to Joann's fabrics.  I have never been there before, but I had been wanting to check it out.  I really wanted to get some fabric scraps for a project, but I wanted some ribbon too.  I was excited when I found this bin!

  I found some scraps that fit into the budget, but then I remembered a few scraps I had at home and decided I needed some ribbon more.  I wasn't heartbroken over the pack at TJ Maxx since it had several spools that I didn't care for.  I ended up finding 3 little spools of ribbon I loved but didn't have a price.  I planned for my $3.75 not to cover it, but I went to check out anyway.  Turns out, each spool was $1, so final cost was $3.28!  Covered it with change to spare. :)

Here's my final "haul!"  

It's amazing how much you value a dollar when you're limited to working with the few bucks you have in your wallet.  I enjoyed the challenge of stretching my money, but more than that, I enjoyed the break.  It was so nice to just get out and go.  I missed August dearly, but I felt like a new woman by the time I got home!  I think every mom needs a break every once in a while.  I'm so grateful to Adam for encouraging me to spend some time out.  He is one awesome hubby.  Oh, and I have to also brag that he got August down for his morning nap this morning and then made us pancakes and eggs for breakfast while I snoozed on the couch.  My allergies were all out of whack for some reason.  So, I am officially spoiled!  What do you do for some mommy time?  Anything you like to do at home for some mommy time when you can't get out?  I hope your Saturday is wonderful!  I will definitely be enjoying mine!

God Provides

Money is super tight right now around the Hare house.  I will go into more detail about that in another post.  Anyway, I am working with a very small grocery budget.  This past week, we didn't have enough money to buy any fresh fruits or vegetables besides bananas.  We had to get the basics like bread, milk, lunch meat, just the staples for day to day living and for packing Adam's lunches for work.  This past Monday morning, I was trying to decide what to fix for supper that night.  I checked the freezer and saw that we didn't even have any frozen veggies or fruits for me to fix.  I began praying to God.  I told Him that I understood that we were going to have to make sacrifices when cutting back on spending, and I am ok with that. But I asked Him if He would reveal to me a way to be able to afford healthy food for our family.

That afternoon, my nannie called me and told me that she was going to drop off some leftovers she had that she wouldn't be able to finish by herself.  Included in the leftovers was a big helping of fresh cherries.  I saved those to serve with our supper that night.  Wow, I thought.  Thank you, God!

The next day, I woke up to a text from my next door neighbor.  She told me that she had left me some okra from her garden on my front porch.  I went out on my porch to find a bucket FULL of fresh okra.  I was so thankful....and a little surprised.  I wondered if this was God answering my prayer.

That night, we had some family over to play cards (Polish Uno, of course).  My mom brought us some fresh peaches and a ton of sliced watermelon.  I really couldn't believe it.  I started thinking back to my prayer just 36 hours prior.  God had answered my prayer.  He used His people to provide for my family's needs.  Looking back, my next door neighbor also gave us a sack of tomatoes from her garden just last week.

My nannie, neighbor, and mom did not know that I had prayed that prayer.  I actually didn't even tell my husband that I had prayed that prayer.  That's what makes everything so amazing.  Our family and neighbor didn't even know that we had a need for some fresh food.  But God used them in our life in a big way, without them even knowing.

This was such a huge reinforcement to my faith in how God provides.  He provided for us in such a practical way, just when we needed it.  I still can't believe it.  I know that He is a loving God and that He is our provider, but I am humbled that He would answer me in such a real way.  I am so, so thankful.  God is FOR REAL, and HE LOVES US!  What an incredible God we serve!    

To the mothers...

This is written for the mothers of unborn babies who may stumble across my blog.  It is written for those mothers who may be considering ending the life of their sweet baby. I was prompted to write this because I read this article today.  It was posted on facebook by a friend.   

http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/twenty-weeks-pregnant-with-twins-but-last-week-she-had-an-abortion

I was sobbing as I read this article.  I couldn't believe what I was reading.  I would give anything to talk to those mothers. This is for them....

I wish I could talk to you in person.  I wish I could give you a hug and invite you into my home.  I wish I could fix you a cup of hot chocolate, and let you cry, vent, whatever you needed to do.  I wish we could sit and talk for hours.  I wish I could be there for you.  But since I only have this keyboard and a brief nap time to work with, here is what I want to say to you.  

Your baby is a beautiful, wonderful, miracle...no matter how or during what season of life it got here.  Your baby is here on this earth for a purpose.  It was not an accident.  God created that beautiful baby inside of you for His glory.  God allowed this baby to be conceived.  It is not your right to take this life. This baby is not part of your body, it is its own person.  The baby growing inside of you is a human being, and has been since conception.  At days old, he has a heart that beats, separately from yours.  He has a nervous system, and soon he will be able to hear your voice if he can't already.  Your baby already loves you and is comforted by you.  He listens to you intently, studying the way you talk, the way you sing, and the way you move.  He longs to be held by you.  

I am the mother of a 3 and 1/2 month old baby boy.  I can't even put into words the love I have for my son, August.  I wish you could just feel for a moment what it feels like for your baby to be here.  That brief moment would change your whole world.  I promise you that you will feel differently about your baby once he is here.  When I was pregnant with August, I thought I loved him, because he was mine, but I didn't know him.  I didn't know he would look like a combination of my husband and my dad, and that he would smile like my grandfather; I didn't know that he would always want to be swaddled when sleeping, that he would be obsessed with his pippy (pacifier), or that he would enjoy having books read to him.  I didn't know that just walking outside with him would stop all of his tears, or that one day I wouldn't care that he used to wake me up at night.  I didn't know that he would outgrow his clothes so quickly, or that he would teethe so early.  I didn't know that my touch would put him to sleep, or that he would wake up in the mornings with a smile on his face.  I didn't know that I would scroll through pictures of him on my phone after he had gone to bed, just because I missed him. I didn't know.   

Oh, and birth!  I didn't know how I would feel about birth.  There is absolutely nothing like birth, no matter by induction, c-section, natural, however it happens.  There is nothing like it.  It is scary, yes, but there is a prize at the end of it, and nothing will overshadow that prize.  The moment your baby comes into the world, and you hear his cry, it is just amazing.  At that moment, you would do anything for him.  Anything.  Don't lose that moment.  I long for every woman to feel that moment.  That moment will be one of the best moments, if not the best moment, of your life.  No matter what.  It gives you a high that cannot be matched, and God made it that way for a reason.  Don't lose that.

I understand that you may be considering abortion because you are no longer with the father, or maybe you are, but it was just an "accident."  Your baby was not an accident.  You made a choice to have sex.  You did.  That's when you chose to have this baby.  While you may regret that decision now, killing your baby will not make that decision go away.  It won't fix your life, make things less complicated, or keep anyone from knowing.  You need to pray that God will change your heart toward this baby.  God is healer.  God is forgiveness.  He is the Almighty One.  This baby needs you.  Maybe the answer for you is adoption, I don't know. Maybe that's not the answer.  Maybe the answer is for you to love and care for your baby.  Maybe you need to pray that God will meet your financial needs or whatever the case may be so that you can raise your baby.  Pray that God will reveal to you what you should do.  Cry out to Him during this time.  He is The Almighty.  He will answer you.   

I also understand that you may be considering abortion because you were raped.  I cannot begin to imagine and do not pretend to understand the pain and hurt you are feeling right now.  I cannot fathom that.  Not only did you have to endure that, but you now carry that person's child.  I cannot imagine.  However, this baby is not that man.  This baby does not know that man.  This baby is separate from that man.  Don't hold this baby accountable for what he did.  Killing the baby will not make the pain of what happened go away.  It will not fix it or make it as if it never happened.  It will only add to your pain.  Just like that man will be held accountable one day for what he did, you will be held accountable for killing your baby.  If you can't raise this baby, somebody can.  And you would not be looked down on for that.  Someone out there wants to love your baby.  If you can't give your baby the love he needs, let someone else love him.  You want that for your child.  I know that if something happens to me, I want someone to love my baby.  And someone will.  Someone will love your baby.  Don't take that love away from him.  

I wish I could sit and type and encourage you as long as my fingers would go, but I have my own baby to take care of.  I beg you, do not go through with this abortion.  It is murder.  You will be held accountable for it.  Please spare your sweet, sweet baby.  Let someone love him if you don't think you can.  I would gladly take your baby for you.  Gladly.  If I could leave you with anything, it would be these verses.  Please consider them.  God be with you.

     Yahweh is close to all who call on Him—to all who call on Him in truth. He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him: He will hear their cry and save them (Psalm 145:18-19).

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. (Psalm 46:1)

Without faith, it is impossible to please God. For he who comes to God must believe He exists, and rewards those who diligently seek Him. (Hebrews 11:6)

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

Come to Me, all you who are weary and weighed down with heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in spirit. Indeed, you will surely find rest in Me! My yoke is easy, and My burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30)

Therefore, if any man is in Christ, he is a new creation. Old things have passed away; look, new things have come! (2 Corinthians 5:17)

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love Him, to enable them to fulfill the purpose for which they are called. (Romans 8:28)