Thursday, June 5, 2014

"I Kissed Social Media Goodbye" and Update!

I bet you're surprised to see me on your blog feed!  I of course have been wanting to blog for a while now, but literally just cannot find the time.  We have been non stop busy lately.  I think the only reason I sat down to blog today was because I set us up a desk in our living room!  It's nothing fancy.  It's actually just one of those plastic tables with metal legs with a table cloth over it.  But it works great. :)  We just have a laptop, so it's cool to actually have a place to have it set up.

Let's see....where to start.  Well, the boys are doing great.  August is 2 years old now.  I'm pretty sure we are out of the months stage with him, but just for my records, he is 25 months old.  He is at such a fun age!  I seriously love this age.  He is so much fun to talk to, and I love to listen to him and see how his little mind works.  He just soaks everything up like a sponge!  It's really fun to watch him learn.  He is really into cars right now.  Any transportation really.  He got a bunch of Hot Wheels and Matchbox cars for his birthday, and he plays with them all day every day.  He also loves to point out cars, trucks, and bullzo's (bulldozers) when we are out driving.  Jude is doing great.  He is 9 months old now.  Nursing is still going well!  He nurses about 5 times a day.  All really quick though, like 5 minutes.  But he has always been that way.  Just this week he has ventured out into foods other than pureed baby food.  I used to make homemade purees for him, but they weren't very smooth and he hated it.  So I started buying him the store bought food, and he liked that much better.  If it had any texture though, he would throw up!  Like literally, throw up.  So it had to be super smooth, either stage 1 or stage 2 baby food.  Just in the last couple days I have gotten him to eat some yogurt, cheese, and shredded turkey.  Since he is replacing so much breastmilk with food, I decided I should try offering him so higher calorie foods.  He had just been getting baby food fruit with the rare veggie mixed in.  Wow, that's a lot of info about his food.  Haha.  Isn't it funny how when they are younger, you feel the need to update on their food/milk situation?  Lol.  What if adults did that when you asked them how they were doing?  Oh, I'm fine.  I eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner with the occasional snack.  I also drink water and too much Coke.  Lol.  That would be pretty funny. I may start doing that.  Jude is just now starting to crawl.  He has really big thighs, so it has been really hard for him to go from sitting to the crawling position.  He just hasn't been able to get up and over that thigh!  Haha.  He is also waving bye bye all the time.  He says mama, dada, and bye bye, but they are all very rare.  He doesn't talk nearly as much as August did at this age. 

Adam and I celebrated had our 4th wedding anniversary yesterday.  We didn't actually get to do anything, because our night consisted of screaming kids during and after church so that was fun.  :)  Real life for ya!  We will actually be celebrating our anniversary on Saturday.  We are going to have a day date, which I am super excited about!  Day dates are my favorite.  I'm not a big go out at night person.  I guess that qualifies me as old.  Oh well.  :) 

I have actually had something on my mind that I wanted to blog about.  You might remember when I wrote about it here, that I cancelled my facebook a couple years ago.  I never really did an update about that, but I just wanted to say that it was and still has been one of the most freeing things that I have ever done!  I would do it again in an instant.  My mind just can't deal with that much info all the time.  I don't need to know who is where, who is with who, who "likes" and "dislikes" this, whose kids did what, what so and so's husband did for his wife...  I just don't need to know all of that!  It was taking up so much room in my brain!  It stresses me out just thinking about it. 

Anyway, so I was on Instagram for a while, and I loved it.  It was kind of like facebook without all the junk.  Just pictures, which is all most people care about anyway.  I loved instagram.  I loved that I could have all of my pictures in one place, even those that weren't on my phone anymore.  I loved that I could see what my friends and family were up to.  But then it started producing these feelings in my heart.  Discontentment, jealousy, feeling like I needed to prove that I was a good mom and a good wife, competition, etc.  So I quit Instagram too.  I still have the account, but I don't think I've updated it in like 4 or 5 months.  I took it off of my phone so that I don't feel the need to check it.  I also took Pinterest off of my phone.  I still have an account, and I occasionally get on, like maybe once every couple weeks or so.  But it's usually for a recipe that I already had pinned or something.  I think Pinterest is helpful when used right. It saves you from having a bunch of bookmarked pages on your web browser, but I don't agree with the way I and most people were using it.  Everyone pins a bazillion things that are not practical and that they will never actually have the time for.  Then, you feel bad that you aren't doing all those things that you pinned.  Then, you start to feel like a bad mom because you assume everyone else who is pinning all of these awesome things are actually doing them, when in reality they are just pinning them just like you are.  Anyway, Pinterest was making me discontent with my home, discontent with the time (even though it was good, quality time) that I was spending with my children, and it was giving me lots of unrealistic expectations about beauty, cooking, my body, pretty much every area of my life. 

After doing a lot of praying, heart searching, and Bible reading, I came to realize something.  At the end of the day, the ONLY thing that matters is,

That's it!!!  That's all I'm responsible for!  How freeing! 

I can't tell you how much my life has changed just by cutting out all of this social media CRAP!  Sorry, that was probably a little strong.  It may not be crap for you.  It may be helpful, and somehow, you don't have a problem with a chaotic mind, jealous feelings, and feeling insignificant because you are comparing yourself.  Or maybe you do have a problem with it?  I don't know.  But I can tell you that after deleting my social media off of my phone (and in some cases, permanently), I still have a nice, somewhat orderly home.  We still eat supper every night.  I still spend time with my kids.  I still love my husband in creative ways.  That sounds bad, but I'll leave it.  :)  I still take a small amount of time to make myself look neat, but I don't feel the need to perfect a "cat eye" or contour my face so it looks like I got in a fight with a tire, or try 45 hairstyles for short hair.  Life is simple again, and I didn't die!  :)  I'm not trying to talk you into deleting your accounts, and I don't think it's bad if you don't.  But if you struggle like me, I promise you will live, and you will live a much more free, happy, and content life if you do delete your accounts.  Ya know what?  I just might "pin this" blog post so I can get the word out.  FREEEEEEE  YOURSELF!  YOU DON'T HAVE TO CONFORM TO THIS WOOOOOOORLD!  (That was me yelling and getting the word out.) 

Ahhhhhh.  See? I feel better after just saying it. :)  Anyway, I will upload some pictures in another post.  I need to clear off my phone first.  Is anyone still out there?  Anyone still reading? :)  "Is anyone alive out there?"  Titanic reference?  Yes?  Alright, I am going to go fold some laundry while the kids are still napping.  Leave me a comment and let me know how you are doing, what you've been up to, what you think about social media. Have a wonderful day!

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

A BIGGER update than I intended.

Well, why not write a blog post?  I literally never get on the computer anymore.  I just don't have the time!  I do get on my phone though, but I can't blog from it.  I have several posts on here that I have started, from months ago, and just never finished.  

I have thought several times about hopping on here at night and catching up on things.  But I just have not really been interested in blogging the last several months.  I still read a few blogs, but I haven't been interested in writing.  I have felt really private and reflective since Jude was born.  I think after having August, I was so into sharing my knowledge and experience, thinking I was helping others.  I thought I had it all figured out, haha.  After having Jude, I am realizing how silly I sounded just a year or two ago.  It is hard having one new baby....but having two babies at once is very, very hard.  It is also very humbling.  I am listening, reading, talking with women in my life and getting their perspective on child-rearing.  No longer handing out much of my own advice.  I'm soaking up others' experiences like a sponge.

I have also been reflecting a lot lately.  I feel like I am keeping a continuous, private blog in my head.  Always recording memories, thoughts, struggles, successes.  I have been wanting to start journaling, just for myself as something to work through and be able to look back on, but it seems like it takes too long to write down everything I'm thinking.  It's also hard to be as honest on paper as I am in my head.  I just have really been wanting to document this stage in my life.  I know it is one of the hardest stages in my life, but it will also be one of the shortest.  Jude is already 5 months old (tomorrow), and August is fixing to turn 21 months old.  I have no idea where the time has gone.

I have mostly been trying to find balance lately.  Trying to figure out how to balance Bible study, quality time with each child, house work, fixing meals, working out, getting out of the house, ministering to others in our church and in our community, trying to find an outlet for myself outside of the house, and of course time with Adam.  I can't figure out the perfect balance.  It's hard to feel like I have done everything I should do in a day.  I'm trying to figure out what things need to be a priority.  To me they all sound like priorities, but I find myself unsatisfied if I don't get to all of these things in a day.  But of course, there is no way to fit all of that in, in one day.  Especially when you are working around breakfast, nap, lunch, nap, dinner, and early bed time with kiddos.  I think I need to just figure out what is needed and do-able in this season of life.  There will be other seasons that may be better for other things.  I have been changing up our schedule lately, trying to figure out the best order of things.  Here is how we are doing things right now on days where we don't go anywhere.  No set times really, just more of a routine.

-I wake up and nurse Jude around 7 or so.  He nurses and goes back to sleep.  (He sleeps in a bassinet in the playroom right now.
- I workout in the living room.  I may or may not get interrupted by August.
- I get both boys up.  August drinks his milk while I nurse Jude.
- I make breakfast and get laundry started.
- Breakfast.  August eats oatmeal, and I have a smoothie.  My smoothie is made with almond milk since Jude doesn't tolerate dairy.
- Jude plays while we eat breakfast.
- August plays with Jude and watches Sesame Street while I clean up breakfast and get my housework started.  I hate Abby's Flying Fairy School.  So dumb.
- I nurse Jude and lay him down for his morning nap.
- I put August in the playroom, and I do my Bible study in the kitchen.
- After I finish, I play with August in the playroom.
- I switch over the laundry at some point.
- Jude wakes up after napping, anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours.
- Adam comes home for lunch, and he plays with August while I nurse Jude.  Some days I fix Adam's lunch, and some days he fixes his own depending on what I have going on.
- August has lunch.  These days he will only eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (sometimes, now I think he is getting burnt out on them), grilled cheese sandwich, yogurt, fruit, graham crackers, or anything sweet.  He is super picky.
- Jude plays while August eats.
- August takes a nap.  Haha, yeah right.  :) I lay August down, and I make him stay back there for 2 hours.  Most days he does not sleep.  I used to always lay him down by 1:00, but I have figured out in the last week that if I wait until 2:00 to lay him down, he might sleep.  He was getting to where he never slept, which makes for very hard afternoons.
- I play with Jude until it's time for him to nap again.  We have been working on rolling over lately. :)
- I nurse Jude and then lay him down for a nap.
- Now is my time to get my chores for the day done.  But what usually happens is I sit down to finally have my lunch, or if I happen to have already eaten, I will have a snack.  Then sometimes I fall asleep.  I have been SO tired lately.  I think I'm staying up too late.  But I usually at least keep the laundry going. :)
- I get the boys up, nurse Jude, and August has a snack.  He usually has milk and graham crackers.
- I start supper while the boys play.  August is good at entertaining Jude.  He likes to make him smile and picks his toys up when Jude drops them.  I keep Jude in his swing or exersaucer when I can't sit with them and closely supervise.
- Adam comes home and plays with the boys while I get supper ready. 
- We eat supper together.  August rarely has what we are having.  I need to work on that.  Jude sits in his car seat on the table.  He is a beautiful center piece. :)
- After supper, Adam and August play, and Jude and I watch. :) Jude will nurse now if it has been a while.
- Adam bathes the boys while I get their pajamas ready, catch up on laundry, and straighten up the house.
- We get the boys ready for bed and say prayers together as a family.
- We tuck August in and then I go in the playroom and nurse Jude until he's sleepy, which doesn't take long.  This is my favorite part of the day with Jude.  Everything is done, and I just get to cuddle him and stare at him.  It's bliss.
- After the boys are in bed, Adam and I hang out or I catch up on laundry folding.  Laundry folding and putting away is my biggest downfall.  I never make enough time for it.
- After I get myself ready for bed, I go in and nurse Jude again, just so I can get as much sleep as possible.  He doesn't really wake up.  It's more of a "dream feed."  I nurse him anytime between 10 and midnight, and he will sleep until 7 the next morning.  It's wonderful.
- Then we do the day all over again!

When I type it out, it doesn't sound that busy.  But I am moving non stop!  I don't know where all the time goes.  I think it's mostly getting food ready, cleaning up food, cleaning up August, feeding Jude, cleaning Jude up (he spits up a lot), spraying out poopy cloth diapers (cloth diapering two is a lot of work!), etc.  Just always something to do. 

Well, I'll give a short update on the boys.  August will be 21 months old in a few days.  I jotted down an 18 month update for him a few weeks ago, but never blogged about it.  He is SO verbal.  He talks about everything.  Constantly. He is getting good at communicating with us.  He speaks his own language of course, but I understand what he is saying most of the time. His favorite thing ever is "ball."  He is obsessed with ball.  Always wants to play ball.  He also loves to go outside, which has been hard in these freezing temps.  He is also testing us lately, and has started throwing tantrums, which is hard.  I'm talking face down on the floor screaming tantrums.  It's a hard stage for all of us. 

Jude is quite the opposite right now. He is such an easy baby.  I'm so spoiled.  He is smiling all the time.  The hardest thing with him is that he doesn't want to be left alone.  He is very social and is always wanting attention.  But he is so happy when he gets it, that I don't mind giving it to him.  He very very rarely cries, and when he does cry it's usually because he is sleepy.  I don't give him much opportunity to be hungry, haha.  He is such a sweet boy.  He also has some chubby thighs!  I just wanna bite them!  He is not rolling over yet, but I'm not too worried. He will do it in his own time.  He has already sat up on his own a couple times.  He has one bottom tooth in, and I just saw that the one next to it has poked through tonight!  He is such a big boy.  I weighed him tonight, and our scale said 16.8 pounds which is probably somewhere around 16 pounds 12 ounces or so.  He is so big!  I'm so so thankful breastfeeding is working this time.  He is a champ nurser.  He usually does 4-5 minutes on one side.  Sometimes he will take the other side, but usually not. 

Well, this turned into a much bigger update than I intended.  Haha wow.  I need to get to bed.  I hope y'all are doing well!  Maybe I will get back into this blogging thing.  We will see. :)  Here are some pics!  Nevermind, stupid Blogger won't upload them, AS USUAL.  I don't have time for that.  Goodnight. :)

Images by Freepik