Ear Infections and "That Mom"

Well, I promised Layla's birth story "soon" and then went missing.  Four antibiotics, three ear infections between two children, and one major holiday later, here I am.  If I don't make a lot of sense in this post, that's because it's 6:30 a.m., and I went to bed at 1:00 a.m. But if I don't get up before my kids wake me up, I am one angry mama bear.  So with my coffee steaming next to me, here I am.

Life with a three year old, two year old, and 6 week old (7 weeks tomorrow), doesn't allow for much blogging time, especially when they are sick. Jude is on his fourth antibiotic in 6 weeks, trying to kick a terrible double ear infection. The antibiotics have also given him a horrible (yeasty probably?) diaper rash.  Little baby Layla also has an ear infection and is on her first antibiotic.  So sad.  August, so far, has a bad cold, but I think it is turning into a sinus infection.  So life here is rough. If you have any ear infection tips, I'm all ears....haha 6:30 a.m. jokes.  But seriously, let me know what you have done for your kids who have had ear infections.  I've cut out Jude's dairy because a friend told me (and I have since read) that kids who have certain dairy intolerances are more susceptible to getting ear infections.  I also got the kids some probiotic drops since I know antibiotics kill the good and bad bacteria in their bodies, so I'm trying to replace the good bacteria that's been wiped out.

So that's where we are right now.  I've also been trying to take care of myself so that I don't get sick, and so that I can feel like a decent human being.  You moms know what I'm talking about.  Do you remember the days when taking care of yourself meant getting some Starbucks, going shopping, treating yourself, getting your nails done....No, that's not what I'm talking about here.  My "taking care of myself" now looks like brushing my teeth....by noon. It looks like showering every 3 days or (gasp!) every other day. It looks like taking the time to make a smoothie for myself in the morning even though the boys are fighting and begging for seconds on cereal, the baby is fussing to be held, and I just want to stuff a Pop-Tart in my face and call it good. It looks like letting myself finish my morning coffee...ok that one is rare. I think I drive Adam nuts with all the wasted coffee.  Anyway, my idea of treating myself has come a long way in the last few years.  And that is ok.  I'm not complaining, I just think it's so funny to look back and see how things have changed.  It makes me smile an embarrassed smile when I think of how my life used to be.  All about me. I had no idea.

Speaking of looking back...as I was nursing Layla about 30 minutes ago (thankfully she goes back to sleep if it's still before 7), I was reading a blog post that I found on Pinterest.  I believe the title of the post had something to do with "How to Get Your Baby to Sleep 12 Hours a Night by 8 Weeks Old."

Oh gag.

I clicked on it out of curiosity, just to see what this particular method was.

And then I saw the preface of this girl's blog post.  "This is my first child, and these methods may not work for every child...."

Did you catch that?  It's her first.

Now, I'm not dissing first time moms.  I promise.  I'm cringing because I was just like this girl.  Obsessed with getting 12 hours of sleep with a newborn, giving my newborn activities to do, schedules, uggggh all of it.  Eye roll.

She talked about how after the baby's first morning feed they did "school." Gag. Me. Now.  After Layla's first morning feed, she sits in the Rock N Play so she doesn't puke all over herself while I change the boys' diapers and clothes, make them pick up their room they trashed already, get their breakfast ready, trip over a car, put some clothes on myself, climb Mt. Laundrymonjaro, make my smoothie, take sips of coffee.....we don't have time for my 6 week old to do school.

She talked about all the things she does during the day for her newborn's schedule. This mom talked about how her newborn sleeps 12 hours, so the momma has her evenings free with her husband, and then she gets 7-8 hours of sleep straight because she needs it. Girlfriend, it was a celebration when Layla slept 3 hours straight.  Best sleep I ever had.  I will say that Layla now consistently sleeps 4-5 hours at a time (on the rare occassion 6 hours!), and I will not complain one bit.  It's heavenly.

Anyway, as I was gagging and trying not to let my snickers disturb my little nursling, my heart stopped and my face turned hot.  I remembered....

I've written almost this same exact blog post.

Yep, after I had August.  Oh no.  I'm that girl.  I'm that mom.

I'll go ahead and link to it, since I know you'll want to look it up anyway.  Ugh.

See, this is why I love and hate blogging.

I love having an outlet.  I love writing.  I love documenting our lives.  I enjoy it.  But....my growth as a mom and a human being is out there.  All my "I have it all figured out moments and I'm going to tell you how to do everything" moments are documented in this blog.  Moments that aren't me anymore.  Moments that are embarrassing.  That I want to act like I didn't say or do.  They're archived here in this blog.

So it makes it hard to write about things, because I know one day I'll look back and roll my eyes.  I'll be embarrassed that I said or did that.  Like now.

But, I don't think that should stop me...or any other veteran or first time moms...from writing.  So I'll ask 2 things from you.

1.) First, the practical.  Check the date.  Check the date of blog posts.  For me or anyone else.  We change and our thoughts change so much as time changes!

And then

2.) Show some grace.  (Like I'm trying to do with myself.) Remember we are all in different seasons.  Some of us think we have it figured out, some of us are trying to have it all figured out, and some of us are having palm to forehead moments like I did this morning.  Show "2012 Amanda" some grace, show yourself some grace, and show all these "my baby sleeps 12 hours a night" mommas some grace.  Because we all need it!

Anyway, this post may or may not have made a lot of sense.  Let me know your thoughts on any of this- ear infections, "2012 you"....or whatever year....new moms, baby sleep, blogging, any of it.  I'd love to hear your thoughts.  A lot of days your comments are the only adult interaction I have. :)

On that note, I just finished my coffee, and I think I'll make a second cup, just because I can.  (That right there, is taking care of myself!) Oh wait, I just heard the boys. And they're yelling, so the baby will be getting up too. Yep, there she is. Sigh.

Y'all have a great day, enjoy a second cup of coffee for me, and give another momma some grace and  a pat on the back! :)

Update! It's a GIRL!

Well, hey y'all!  I have been thinking about my little blog here lately, and just thought I would give an update.  I don't know if I'm coming back or not, but I just thought I would update and see what happens. :)

I guess I'll start with the biggest news....I am 34 weeks pregnant with a baby GIRL!  We are extremely excited!  She is due October 25.  Her name is Layla Abney Hare.  Abney was Adam's mom's maiden name.  We just like the name Layla. :)  So I have been busy working on her nursery, going to doctor's appointments and all of that.  The pregnancy has been good alright a little rough.  We had a little scare in the beginning.  I was put on bed rest for about 6 weeks.  I had a subchorrionic hemorrhage, which is an active bleed located inside my uterus.  I never saw any blood, but it was quite large on the ultrasound.  However, as far as we can tell, baby was not affected by it, praise the Lord!  It has been a tiring pregnancy taking care of 2 toddlers.  I had morning sickness daily until I was 24 weeks.  I had to be put on a medication just so I could function.  Now things are getting harder, since I'm at the end.  Insomnia, aches and pains, heartburn, the usual.  I'm ready for her to be here!

The boys are doing great.  They are the best of friends, although they can fight pretty good too. :)  August is 3 years old (WHAT?!), and Jude just turned 2 years last month.  They are together pretty much 24/7.  They share a room, and that has been an adventure to say the least. August is in a twin bed, and Jude is still in a crib.  I don't see Jude in a bed for a LONG time!  He's much more babyish than August, although I'm sure that has something to do with me and how I treat him. :) August is constantly talking and learning, content to play with his construction toys for as long as you will let him.  Jude is all over the place.  Constantly running, obsessed with all sports, and always has a football in his hand.  Just an example of their personalities, we went to a local football game.  August told me that he wanted to play in the band, and Jude told me that he wanted to play football.  That sums them up right there.  They both bring so much joy to my life.  I'm so thankful for them.  They keep my days busy, but I couldn't have it any other way.

Busy doesn't begin to describe our life right now.  The boys are in a 2 day/week preschool program for 1/2 a day to give me a little rest.  I plan to use that window to catch up on sleep when baby girl comes.  (If she will let me.) Who am I kidding, I need to catch up on sleep right now!  Adam is also in school.  He just started his second year at Moody Bible Institute online.  He is still working full time (usually more than full time), so he is quite busy.  We also help lead our youth group, which we LOVE!  And that takes time as well, but it's time very much enjoyed.  August has also started in the AWANA program at our church, so there is a lot going on around here.  Something to do every day it seems.

Well, I'll keep it short and see if I can't add in a few pictures.  I have always had trouble uploading pictures to Blogger.  We got a new computer so I'll see if it's any easier.  Is anyone still out there?  Anyone still reading? :)

Back porch water table fun!

Panama City Beach, August 2015

This quickly escalated to drawing on the walls.

Thomas the Train exhibit at Creative Discovery Museum for Jude's birthday!

On vacations, 28 weeks pregnant!

On vacation at Gulf World, hanging out with the sting rays.

Snuggling! 

Family photo on vacation....Adam is so dark!

I wanted to remember what bedtime was like with 2. :)

Hanging out at the football game

Watching football with my boys.  I just realized I'm wearing the same thing in all of these pictures.  You wear what fits at the end of pregnancy!  Amen?

Well, I have to say, it's much easier uploading pics from a MacBook than a PC.  Maybe I'll get back in to this blogging thing.  We will see. :)

A BIGGER update than I intended.

Well, why not write a blog post?  I literally never get on the computer anymore.  I just don't have the time!  I do get on my phone though, but I can't blog from it.  I have several posts on here that I have started, from months ago, and just never finished.  

I have thought several times about hopping on here at night and catching up on things.  But I just have not really been interested in blogging the last several months.  I still read a few blogs, but I haven't been interested in writing.  I have felt really private and reflective since Jude was born.  I think after having August, I was so into sharing my knowledge and experience, thinking I was helping others.  I thought I had it all figured out, haha.  After having Jude, I am realizing how silly I sounded just a year or two ago.  It is hard having one new baby....but having two babies at once is very, very hard.  It is also very humbling.  I am listening, reading, talking with women in my life and getting their perspective on child-rearing.  No longer handing out much of my own advice.  I'm soaking up others' experiences like a sponge.

I have also been reflecting a lot lately.  I feel like I am keeping a continuous, private blog in my head.  Always recording memories, thoughts, struggles, successes.  I have been wanting to start journaling, just for myself as something to work through and be able to look back on, but it seems like it takes too long to write down everything I'm thinking.  It's also hard to be as honest on paper as I am in my head.  I just have really been wanting to document this stage in my life.  I know it is one of the hardest stages in my life, but it will also be one of the shortest.  Jude is already 5 months old (tomorrow), and August is fixing to turn 21 months old.  I have no idea where the time has gone.

I have mostly been trying to find balance lately.  Trying to figure out how to balance Bible study, quality time with each child, house work, fixing meals, working out, getting out of the house, ministering to others in our church and in our community, trying to find an outlet for myself outside of the house, and of course time with Adam.  I can't figure out the perfect balance.  It's hard to feel like I have done everything I should do in a day.  I'm trying to figure out what things need to be a priority.  To me they all sound like priorities, but I find myself unsatisfied if I don't get to all of these things in a day.  But of course, there is no way to fit all of that in, in one day.  Especially when you are working around breakfast, nap, lunch, nap, dinner, and early bed time with kiddos.  I think I need to just figure out what is needed and do-able in this season of life.  There will be other seasons that may be better for other things.  I have been changing up our schedule lately, trying to figure out the best order of things.  Here is how we are doing things right now on days where we don't go anywhere.  No set times really, just more of a routine.

-I wake up and nurse Jude around 7 or so.  He nurses and goes back to sleep.  (He sleeps in a bassinet in the playroom right now.
- I workout in the living room.  I may or may not get interrupted by August.
- I get both boys up.  August drinks his milk while I nurse Jude.
- I make breakfast and get laundry started.
- Breakfast.  August eats oatmeal, and I have a smoothie.  My smoothie is made with almond milk since Jude doesn't tolerate dairy.
- Jude plays while we eat breakfast.
- August plays with Jude and watches Sesame Street while I clean up breakfast and get my housework started.  I hate Abby's Flying Fairy School.  So dumb.
- I nurse Jude and lay him down for his morning nap.
- I put August in the playroom, and I do my Bible study in the kitchen.
- After I finish, I play with August in the playroom.
- I switch over the laundry at some point.
- Jude wakes up after napping, anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours.
- Adam comes home for lunch, and he plays with August while I nurse Jude.  Some days I fix Adam's lunch, and some days he fixes his own depending on what I have going on.
- August has lunch.  These days he will only eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (sometimes, now I think he is getting burnt out on them), grilled cheese sandwich, yogurt, fruit, graham crackers, or anything sweet.  He is super picky.
- Jude plays while August eats.
- August takes a nap.  Haha, yeah right.  :) I lay August down, and I make him stay back there for 2 hours.  Most days he does not sleep.  I used to always lay him down by 1:00, but I have figured out in the last week that if I wait until 2:00 to lay him down, he might sleep.  He was getting to where he never slept, which makes for very hard afternoons.
- I play with Jude until it's time for him to nap again.  We have been working on rolling over lately. :)
- I nurse Jude and then lay him down for a nap.
- Now is my time to get my chores for the day done.  But what usually happens is I sit down to finally have my lunch, or if I happen to have already eaten, I will have a snack.  Then sometimes I fall asleep.  I have been SO tired lately.  I think I'm staying up too late.  But I usually at least keep the laundry going. :)
- I get the boys up, nurse Jude, and August has a snack.  He usually has milk and graham crackers.
- I start supper while the boys play.  August is good at entertaining Jude.  He likes to make him smile and picks his toys up when Jude drops them.  I keep Jude in his swing or exersaucer when I can't sit with them and closely supervise.
- Adam comes home and plays with the boys while I get supper ready. 
- We eat supper together.  August rarely has what we are having.  I need to work on that.  Jude sits in his car seat on the table.  He is a beautiful center piece. :)
- After supper, Adam and August play, and Jude and I watch. :) Jude will nurse now if it has been a while.
- Adam bathes the boys while I get their pajamas ready, catch up on laundry, and straighten up the house.
- We get the boys ready for bed and say prayers together as a family.
- We tuck August in and then I go in the playroom and nurse Jude until he's sleepy, which doesn't take long.  This is my favorite part of the day with Jude.  Everything is done, and I just get to cuddle him and stare at him.  It's bliss.
- After the boys are in bed, Adam and I hang out or I catch up on laundry folding.  Laundry folding and putting away is my biggest downfall.  I never make enough time for it.
- After I get myself ready for bed, I go in and nurse Jude again, just so I can get as much sleep as possible.  He doesn't really wake up.  It's more of a "dream feed."  I nurse him anytime between 10 and midnight, and he will sleep until 7 the next morning.  It's wonderful.
- Then we do the day all over again!

When I type it out, it doesn't sound that busy.  But I am moving non stop!  I don't know where all the time goes.  I think it's mostly getting food ready, cleaning up food, cleaning up August, feeding Jude, cleaning Jude up (he spits up a lot), spraying out poopy cloth diapers (cloth diapering two is a lot of work!), etc.  Just always something to do. 

Well, I'll give a short update on the boys.  August will be 21 months old in a few days.  I jotted down an 18 month update for him a few weeks ago, but never blogged about it.  He is SO verbal.  He talks about everything.  Constantly. He is getting good at communicating with us.  He speaks his own language of course, but I understand what he is saying most of the time. His favorite thing ever is "ball."  He is obsessed with ball.  Always wants to play ball.  He also loves to go outside, which has been hard in these freezing temps.  He is also testing us lately, and has started throwing tantrums, which is hard.  I'm talking face down on the floor screaming tantrums.  It's a hard stage for all of us. 

Jude is quite the opposite right now. He is such an easy baby.  I'm so spoiled.  He is smiling all the time.  The hardest thing with him is that he doesn't want to be left alone.  He is very social and is always wanting attention.  But he is so happy when he gets it, that I don't mind giving it to him.  He very very rarely cries, and when he does cry it's usually because he is sleepy.  I don't give him much opportunity to be hungry, haha.  He is such a sweet boy.  He also has some chubby thighs!  I just wanna bite them!  He is not rolling over yet, but I'm not too worried. He will do it in his own time.  He has already sat up on his own a couple times.  He has one bottom tooth in, and I just saw that the one next to it has poked through tonight!  He is such a big boy.  I weighed him tonight, and our scale said 16.8 pounds which is probably somewhere around 16 pounds 12 ounces or so.  He is so big!  I'm so so thankful breastfeeding is working this time.  He is a champ nurser.  He usually does 4-5 minutes on one side.  Sometimes he will take the other side, but usually not. 

Well, this turned into a much bigger update than I intended.  Haha wow.  I need to get to bed.  I hope y'all are doing well!  Maybe I will get back into this blogging thing.  We will see. :)  Here are some pics!  Nevermind, stupid Blogger won't upload them, AS USUAL.  I don't have time for that.  Goodnight. :)