Thursday, May 31, 2012

August's Birth Story: Part 1

Wow, every time I go to write this, something comes up!  Even now, I have laundry that needs to be put away, clothes that need washing, a sink full of dirty dishes, a dishwasher full of clean dishes, a baby crawling up my shoulder, a diaper Genie that smells like death, and a dog that smells like death 50 years later.  But, this story is important to me, so I will make time!  August is 4 weeks old today, so I think I better write his story before I forget any more of it.  There is already so much I don't remember, but I think God makes it that way for a reason.  Seriously, no one would ever have more than 1 child if they remembered everything about labor, haha.  So a lot of what I will tell you was told to me by my husband.  My birth story is not a natural one or an uncomplicated one, but it's mine.  It's how August came into this world, and for that, it is beautiful.

Wednesday, May 2nd, 2012 was the date of our scheduled induction.  I was 40 weeks and 2 days pregnant.  We slept in until about 11 that day, knowing it would be our last chance to sleep in for a long, long time.  I woke up a nervous wreck.  I cried in Adam's arms as I anticipated the induction.  I never wanted the induction, and I was still trying to make peace with it.  It was just so unnatural to force August out.  Is that what God would want?  Surely it wasn't His plan for me to have something so unnatural, so not according to His plan for childbirth.  Why were we inducing again?  I couldn't remember.  They said he was big, but was he too big?  Women deliver big babies all the time. What was the other reason?  My PUPPPS rash.  That's right.  It was unbearable, but was I being selfish?  Surely I could endure this rash until it was time for him to come.  But, and this was the burning question in my mind, what if I make it to 41 weeks.....42 weeks.....and he doesn't come?  He is just sitting in there putting on weight.  Then I really may not be able to get him out.  How many more sleepless nights could I endure with this rash?  I didn't know.  This is the conversation I had with myself in my head every day, if not every hour. But today was the day it stopped becoming a conversation in my head.  We were going to be induced.  It was set.  Today was the day.

I didn't have to report to the hospital until 8:00 p.m.  So we had a full day to get things done.  We had a pretty big to-do list: sweep and mop the floors, clean the bathrooms, deep clean the couches (they smelled like dog), pack our last minute hospital things, and write out instructions for our neighbor to take care of Heidi (our spoiled dog).  I was ready to get going on our list, but Adam insisted we go out for breakfast.  Seriously?  How could he think of food on a day like this?  Who needed food?  I was running on adrenaline.  Reluctantly, I agreed to go to Cracker Barrel.  After all, once we got to the hospital, it was no more eating for me until August arrived.

I ordered my favorite meal there- blueberry pancakes with blueberry syrup with a side of eggs and bacon.  Tears ran down my face as Adam blessed the food.  He thanked God for blessing us with August and prayed for peace and safety for the delivery.  It was one of the sweetest, most genuine prayers I have ever heard.  When the waitress returned to check on us, I knew she could tell I had been crying.  (What is it with me crying in front of people in the food service industry?)  I didn't care though.  If she only knew, she would understand.  Today was the day.

When we finished with breakfast, we headed to my parents' house and to my grandmother's house.  My grandmother had a "Simple Green Machine" that we were going to use to clean the couches, and my parents had the cleaner that went with the machine.  We stopped by my grandmother's and got the cleaner.  She gave me some very sweet words of encouragement and a hug.  As we pulled in my parents' driveway, the tears started again.  My dad could see that I was crying, but he kept a cheerful manner.  He told me it would all be okay and that we would all get to meet August soon!  I tried to smile, but emotion had already taken over.  We took the cleaner and headed on our way.

When we got home, Adam started on the couches, and I got started on the bathrooms.  If I could give you one piece of advice it would be this: get all of your cleaning and household things done BEFORE the day of your induction.  I'm not sure what we were thinking.  The cleaning took longer than we thought it would, which was stressful.  We should have been using the time for rest.  We didn't know just how much we would need it.

After the packing and cleaning were done, it was finally time to head out.  I couldn't believe it.  Surely it wasn't time yet.  Right?  I walked through the house, making sure we hadn't forgotten anything and making sure everything was in its place.  This would be the last time we would be together in this house without a baby.  It was kind of bittersweet.  I paused and listened to the quiet.  Adam took a picture of me before we left.

Our sweet neighbor who looked after Heidi took this picture of us as we were leaving.  You can see the nervousness in our faces.  We were both scared to death.  I had asked Adam why he was acting so serious.  He is usually trying to lighten the mood.  He told me he was nervous for me.  I told him that didn't help!   I needed him to tell me that this was no big deal, so he did.  I didn't believe him.

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